February 2013 Resolution Update! (a day late)

Two months ago, I posted my 2013 goals and resolutions. If you don't want to click through and read the whole post again, here is what I posted as my goals:

1. Fit back into a size 8 and be healthy about it.
          a. Work out at least two hours each week
          b. Stop eating so much junk food. Eat fruits and vegetables instead.
2. Pay off the car loan.
          a. Find my cheques
          b. Stay within budget
          c. Track spending and budget
3. Write more
          a. Edit my NaNoWriMo2012 novel to readability and have people read it.
          b. Continue working on the first draft of my other novel
          c. Add new content to this blog and to my Helium.com profile every week.
4. Finish 3 of my university courses
          a. one at a time, starting with Introductory Composition


So, for the update, continue reading:

1. Fit back into a size 8 and be healthy about it.
          a. Work out at least two hours each week

Still haven't lost a pound, but I started getting more active in that at least once a week I go for a ten minute walk, and separately I walk up and down the stairs at work for 5 minutes every now and then. Work in progress.

          b. Stop eating so much junk food. Eat fruits and vegetables instead.

February was a bad month for this, for some reason. I started off well, but as the month continued... donuts and delicious junk food everywhere. March is here now, so it's time to restart.

2. Pay off the car loan.
          a. Find my cheques

Done last month.
          c. Track spending and budget

Did okay for this, but we stayed on track and ended up spending less than usual, so that's nice!

3. Write more

          a. Edit my NaNoWriMo2012 novel to readability and have people read it.

Just don't look at this one...

          b. Continue working on the first draft of my other novel

Ehmmmmm....

          c. Add new content to this blog and to my Helium.com profile every week.

Added one thing to Helium, and a few things to my blog, so at least that's something!

4. Finish 3 of my university courses

          a. one at a time, starting with Introductory Composition

Almost halfway through Introductory Composition. I'm about a full unit behind, but I've been plugging away at it most of the month, and I am hoping to have completed Unit 4 (of 6) by the end of March.

So that's it for now! As I mentioned last month, I have been making bi-weekly videos, so if you want to check out my Youtube channel, click here.

If you have any questions, tips, suggestions, or anything else, share it below! Thanks for your continuing support!

Peace, love, and March on!

Money Stress: Part 2 - Use what you have

Yeah, remember this whole thing? Money stress? Right now, I may not be overly stressed about money personally, but there are always things that I want that I need to save up for. You too?

Maybe you are living paycheck to paycheck, and maybe you aren't. Maybe you are trying to save up for a house, or a vacation, or even just a new computer/music player/phone. If there is ever something that you are trying to accumulate more money for, there is always a way to save up that money.

Not only are there always ways, but there are also almost always ways to change so slightly that you don't sacrifice much in terms of your day-to-day life. Which is really what we're all after, right?

The main things that people, like you and me, tend to hear about when it comes to saving money are the clichés. Bring your coffee, don't buy your coffee. Bring your lunch, don't buy your lunch. And yeah, these tips are effective... but they don't apply to everyone. Each person has their own priorities and preferences for how they live their lives. I love coffee, and am lucky enough to have access to coffee at work, as much as I want, for only 10$ a month. Not everyone has this luxury. Not everyone drinks coffee.

My second big tip (my first can be found here) is to use up what you already have. If you have, like many people, extra food sitting in your freezer that you bought while it was on sale, but it isn't what you usually use... try it! Try something new, find a new recipe, and use it up. Not only do you now have more space for the usual stuff in your freezer, but you also got to try something new, and the food that you used up will not go to waste.

If you already have mascara (that isn't clumpy), why buy a new one just because it's on sale? Use up what you have first, so that less (or ideally, nothing) goes to waste. I don't know about you guys, but I HATE throwing out things I have purchased. Whether it's food, cosmetics, clothing, etc... I just hate throwing it out. Drives me crazy. Because that is, effectively, throwing your hard-earned money in the garbage.

Ew.

Use up what you already have. If you need to organize a bit, do that! It's a great way to spend your time without buying anything (I don't know about you, but I spend money when I'm bored). Then you will be able to see your things more easily, which makes it easier to use them up!

Do you have any tips or tricks for finding ways to stretch your cash? Please share them! I am always looking for new ideas and things to try!

Peace, love, and save your nickels! (Pennies are gone!)

January 2013 Resolution Update!

About a month ago, I posted my 2013 goals and resolutions. If you don't want to click through and read the whole post again, here is what I posted as my goals:

1. Fit back into a size 8 and be healthy about it.
          a. Work out at least two hours each week
          b. Stop eating so much junk food. Eat fruits and vegetables instead.
2. Pay off the car loan.
          a. Find my cheques
          b. Stay within budget
          c. Track spending and budget
3. Write more
          a. Edit my NaNoWriMo2012 novel to readability and have people read it.
          b. Continue working on the first draft of my other novel
          c. Add new content to this blog and to my Helium.com profile every week.
4. Finish 3 of my university courses
          a. one at a time, starting with Introductory Composition

Sidenote: I was asked to update also on a drawing commitment I had made (to my mom). The update is: I can't find the drawing I had made so far, but when I do I will continue with working on it. I have been practicing the tribal part, and may end up just starting over with the outline that I still have. If you want to see what I've done so far, let me know!

So, to update, continue reading:

1. Fit back into a size 8 and be healthy about it.
          a. Work out at least two hours each week

Realistically I've probably only done about an hour each week of real working out. There was a lot going on this month, and I just didn't prioritize it. Now I'm paying for it, as I haven't shrunk at all and I have a wedding to attend this Saturday with nothing to wear.

          b. Stop eating so much junk food. Eat fruits and vegetables instead.

I've done pretty good with this task overall, I feel like I've been eating less junky crap and making a real concerted effort to snack on fresh fruit. I've also increased how much vegetables go on my dinner plate. Now to find a way to add F&V to breakfast...

2. Pay off the car loan.
          a. Find my cheques

Did this! Had to order more, but after I ordered them, I found my old ones. So now I have enough cheques to last me about 20 years...

          b. Stay within budget

Despite January being pretty tight at the beginning (curse you, Christmas!), since both WW and I got 3 paycheques this month, we're WAY ahead. Huzzah!

          c. Track spending and budget

Did this for all of January!

3. Write more
          a. Edit my NaNoWriMo2012 novel to readability and have people read it.

Didn't even touch it. Yes I am shame...

          b. Continue working on the first draft of my other novel

Again, didn't even touch it. I told you it was a rough month!

          c. Add new content to this blog and to my Helium.com profile every week.

Did half of this, I've been updating this blog fairly frequently, so that's exciting! Helium has been neglected this month aside from today, better luck next month! (However, despite barely touching my Helium account [and writing nothing until the last day of the month], I made 1$ in revenue! Woo!)

4. Finish 3 of my university courses
          a. one at a time, starting with Introductory Composition

Working on it, finished Unit 1 and am halfway through the reading for Unit 2. The first assignment for Unit 2 is due Feb 19, so I am on track!

So there you have it! I also made a goal to myself to start making Youtube videos, which I kept secret because I didn't think I'd actually do it, but I have two posted now! If you haven't already, and you want to look at my face click HERE for the first, and HERE for the second!

How has your January gone? Productive? Non-productive? New changes or old habits? Share them here!

Peace, love, and ACHEIVEMENT UNLOCKED!

Guest Post: Fighting Depression While Raising Troubled Teens

Today, I have the great honour of sharing with you a guest post by Agnes Jiminez. This subject is dear to me, particularly as I know what it is like to be the troubled teen, as well as knowing that in a few short years, I will be in this situation myself, raising a teen while fighting my own mental illness.

These tips and reminders are great, and deeply true, and it is important to be honest with yourself about your own limitations when sorting through your own personal issues.

With no furhter ado, please read this insightful and well-written piece. Share your thoughts below, join the conversation, make mental illness a subject that is no longer taboo. Thanks. Peace, love, and fight for your self.

Parents suffering from depression are likely to experience difficulty -- especially once the children are able to understand the disorder and witness the changes in moods in their parent. Despite the fact that a parent is suffering from depression, guidance and discipline still must take place.

What are some of the coping techniques that parents suffering from depression can use when it comes to parenting teenagers?

Level with the Teen

Communicating with the teen and explaining to them the illness and symptoms that come along with depression can help the teen to understand what the parent is going through and hopefully increasing the empathy the teen has for the parent. Allowing the teen to ask questions and explaining how the disease can affect the lifestyle of the parent, the relationship between the parent and teen and how the parent is feeling is likely to give the teen a sense of relief. Make sure the teen understands that the depression is not their fault -- and is not exacerbated by the teen.

Cut Yourself some Slack

Parents often try to do too much. Parents suffering from depression are likely to feel overwhelmed -- more than parents not suffering from the disease. It's important to understand that there are going to be times when you aren't going to be able to get everything you want to accomplished -- and that's okay. Cut yourself some slack.

Get the Help You Need

It's okay for parents to suffer from depression. What's not okay is parents suffering from depression without getting the treatment options that are available to them. Whether you decide to go through talk therapy and learn the coping skills that can be used to avert the depression or choose medication that can help to balance the hormones and lessen the symptoms of depression, it's important to take the time for you and get the help that is needed to overcome the disease.

Take Time Away

Sometimes, part of the treatment plan requires the parent to step away. Stepping away from the situation and taking time for yourself to heal from the depression and learn the skills to overcome the

disease isn't easy but with the help from family members and friends and lifestyle changes like alternative school options, you can take the time that is needed.

Making short term changes to the lifestyle and understanding that depression is something that can occur quickly and leave you requiring a bit of extra help can help families suffering from depression to heal faster, and heal together.

Agnes Jimenez is a professional blogger and writer. She writes for many online establishments and currently partners with HelpYourTeenNow.com in spreading awareness about troubled and depressed teenagers (and how to deal with them).  Help Your Teen Now aims to increase awareness on the current psychological and societal stresses of today's teens and how these factors affect the future of our society.

Musings: The illusion of sanity

Illusions exist all around us. Creating images and giving impressions of normalcy and control.

These illusions tell us when someone is weird, or different, somehow unworthy of our attentions.

Everyone comes with illusions, and defeating them to move forward is something that many will never accomplish.

Sanity, just like insanity, is an illusion. Whether you are diagnosed with a mental illness or not, some people will think you sane, others will think you insane. In the grand scheme of the world, though, it doesn't matter.

By many circles, both societal and medical, I am considered insane or mentally unwell. Yet I function. I carry on a life, generally productively, despite this status.

Sanity is just a word, it describes variations without ever really laying a baseline.

Are those who suffer from mental illness really insane, or is their perspective on reality just different? And with the predominance of diagnosed and undiagnosed mental states, is "sanity" really the norm?


Peace, love, and imagine.

Psychiatry Update #2: A Month and a half later...

As you may recall if you're a regular reader (if not, click here and here for the first two parts of this story), I have been on Seroquel XR since November 21, 2012. I am here to update you all, if you care, on how that's been going.

Part one: I didn't increase my dosage (like the psychiatrist told me to)

When I went to see the psychiatrist, and he gave me the prescription, he told me to start at 50mg, then the next day to 100mg, then to 150mg until I spoke to my doctor (which was supposed to be about 3-4 weeks later).

I didn't do this. I stayed at 50mg. I don't recommend it to people who are incredibly in-tune with their bodies, but it's what I did and I don't regret it. (sidenote: I did increase it to 100mg from December 23-27th, due to that time of year always being very high on the anxiety and depression scale. Then I decreased back to 50mg again afterwards.)

Part two: I'm still not going to increase my dosage

I just went for the follow up with my doctor on Monday January 16, 2013. He asked me how everything was going, and I told him the truth. I told him I didn't increase my dosage, and he seemed surprised. He then told me that the psychiatrist, in the report, had recommended bumping me up to 300mg, and possibly adding an antidepressant.

Dear jesus.

I told him that I was fine. I still get mood swings, and anxiety, and manic, and depressed. But it doesn't stop me from having a life, and I don't feel exhausted from the sheer effort of appearing normal. After assessing where I was, he told me that as long as I was happy, he was happy. He is not the type of doctor to load his patients up on as many pharmaceuticals as possible. The less, the better. So he wrote me a prescription, told me if I felt the need to bump up my dosage at all to do it right away and then call him and make an appointment.

Told him I would. And I will, if it comes to that.

Part three: Emotionally

Emotionally I still feel pretty up and down most of the time, but I remember what I say now, and I don't get as intense. When I'm manic, I can recognize that my thinking is irrational and I can think my way around it. Often, just telling WonderWife that I know I'm manic will help me to bring it down a notch.

Anxiety-wise, I am doing great. I've been able to drive without freaking out, and go to the mall. I can walk around downtown for my full lunch break without having a cloud of butterflies try to force their way out of my stomach.

Overall, I'm feeling pretty great. My emotions are easier to understand and less severe. I don't blank out for hours or days at a time. I have more energy and I can do more with my time.

And... I'm anything but a zombie.

As always,
Peace, love, and GO CRAZY!

Money Stress: Step 1 - Save on food

As I said in my previous post, each step is worth itself in weight. So lets get right to it!

If you're reading this, maybe you think that you can improve your financial situation with some easy changes. And it's completely true, you can. Please keep in mind that what works for me and my family may not work for you. Try things, see how they work, and adapt for your own personal lifestyle.

Each tip will consist of a general tip followed by some of the changes I will be (or have been) doing to institute this change. You can use these as starter ideas, or you can use them to brainstorm your own solutions. I won't be insulted if you completely ignore any of the tips, I am just putting them out there in hopes that it helps at least one person feel less stress about their finances.

On to step one.

Step 1:
Cook at home using fresh ingredients.

We always have frozen oven meals in the freezer just in case. With WonderWife working 10 hour days and me with my variable moods (and therefore variable energy), it's just safer to have food that can just be thrown in the oven for those really bad days where I don't want to do anything. Unfortunately, they can be quite pricy. Even if you get a 1-pound bag of frozen vegetables for 2$, you're still paying more than you would for fresh vegetables.

I am dedicating it to myself now that I will start to make my own handy helpers for the freezer with what foods I currently have. Then I will move upwards to making full out freezer meals. But small steps...

Tonight I am going to grate up some of the carrots we have in the fridge along with the cauliflower and mix them together in a container to throw in the freezer. This will be an easy to use addition to any meal I throw together, easy way to add more fresh foods to our diet (which is quite fresh already, but no such thing as too much), and save money. Not to mention that carrots and cauliflower are relatively easy on the taste buds, particularly when cooked, so they will blend in nicely with many foods and not overpower.

Next, I am going to thaw out some of the bricks of cheese we have in the freezer and shred them, and refreeze them for easy to use shredded cheese. That will make adding cheese to any meal a snap, and save me time while I'm trying to throw together a meal at 6pm.

Having fresh vegetables on hand is all well and good, but it is important to use them before they go bad. Otherwise you are basically throwing away your money.

Having pre-cooked or semi-cooked meat in the freezer is a goal for me, having premade mixes in the freezer which simply need to be thrown onto a frying pan is another. There are so many possibilities in the realm of precooked and ready-to-eat foods that it is almost impossible to figure out where to start!


So that's my step one. Have you had any successes with doing prep-work ahead of time? Do you have any tips or tricks for throwing together a healthy, homemade meal in less time? I would love to hear them, as time is a valuable asset and I am going to strive to conserve more of it!

Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!

Peace, love, and munch away!

Trying New Things: ViSalus Shakes

In my ongoing quest to eat healthier and less junk, I started using the ViSalus meal replacement shakes. I was concerned when I first heard about them, because all I saw was people pushing them all over Facebook and the website didn't have any real information.

That has changed recently, people that I know and trust have been using them for months and have shared their opinions and results with me. They aren't being pushed every way you turn. And, most importantly, the website has some real information on it. Including nutritional information, ingredients, etc.

I am not a partner for the Body by Vi system, I just started drinking them for while I'm at work (deters from the McDonald's and other nearby junk food), and I do not use them at home.

But, despite being only 110 calories per serving (plus whatever beverage you mix it into, obviously) they are quite good! Not to mention they do keep you full, especially if you double the liquid count that it recommends.

Here is how I use it during the work week (remember, I don't use it on weekends).

Get to work: Make a shake with 2 scoops and ~1 cup of milk. Shake it up, make it all nice and mixed together, then pour into a larger cup (I mix it in a mason jar, it's handy). Add another 1-2 cups of water (WATER). Throw an ice cube or two in if it's not cold enough. Drink, enjoy.

Eat small lunch (some protein and some fruits/veg usually, sometimes bread or crackers or something carby).

Around 2-3pm, make a smaller shake with 1 scoop of powder, mixed with water. Fill cup with 2-3 cups of water (total) after it's all mixed. This carries me through the afternoon energy slump. Sometimes I'll have another fruit, or a coffee. Either or.

Then by the time I get home, I'm hungry but not famished, and I am less likely to snack after dinner.

It tastes good (quite strong if you follow the directions, but I dilute it pretty well so it's yummy), it keeps me full, it gives me good healthy energy, and there are some pretty solid ingredients in there.

The only downside is that it uses soy protein, BUT it is non-GMO soy protein, so it's alright.

I enjoy having the energy all day, I am able to cut down to 2 cups of coffee during the day, and it feels like a treat because it's so darn tasty.

I can't report on it's effectiveness for weightloss (yet) since I only just got a way to weigh myself over Christmas and have only been back at work for 2 days. But I'm sure an update will come when I update you all on my resolutions status.

Thanks for following along, and if you've been on the fence about this product, look at the website again and see if you can find anyone you trust who uses them. Way more accurate than listening to infomercials.

As always,

Peace, love, and shake on!

The Importance of Setting Goals and... my 2013 resolutions!

New Year's resolutions are known far and wide as "goals for the first week of January" which then get thrown out the window.

Setting goals for yourself is a very important part of productive and satisfying living, yet countless people set goals for themselves that they never actually acheive, or they give up after a very brief time.

Why is that? First and most important reason: You set your goals too high, too hard, or too little gratification.

Humans as a whole love instant gratification. Being able to feel at least a piece of success NOW is essential to our wanting to continue working towards that goal. By setting a goal that has no short-term or instant gratification, you are setting yourself up to give up on yourself.

How do we avoid that?

Set smaller goals. Be realistic.

If your goal is to get healthy, quantify that. Do you want to (eventually) lose 5, 10, 15 pounds? Or is it that you want to fit into a size 8, 10, 14? Or maybe even be able to do 50 sit ups, pushups, squats, etc in a row?

Set a big goal, such as: By December 31, 2013, I want to lose 20 pounds and/or fit into a size 10, and/or be able to do 100 pushups in a row.

Then, set smaller, monthly goals. Such as: I want to lose 3 pounds in January.

Then think about what you have to do to acheive the smaller goal. If monthly goals are still too big for you, or you want something a little closer, think instead of time-based goals.

Example: I want to exercise for one hour each week (great starting point for the inactive person).

Then, each day that you do even five minutes of exercise, track it. By the end of the week, you add it all up. Each week you set a new goal. Maybe it'll be the same goal repeated, maybe you'll up the ante a bit. But don't overreach yourself.

You are worth the effort it takes to acheive your goals.

With all of that out of the way, here are my goals for 2013:

1. Fit back into a size 8 and be healthy about it.
          a. Work out at least two hours each week
          b. Stop eating so much junk food. Eat fruits and vegetables instead.
2. Pay off the car loan.
          a. Find my cheques
          b. Stay within budget
          c. Track spending and budget
3. Write more
          a. Edit my NaNoWriMo2012 novel to readability and have people read it.
          b. Continue working on the first draft of my other novel
          c. Add new content to this blog and to my Helium.com profile every week.
4. Finish 3 of my university courses
          a. one at a time, starting with Introductory Composition


That's all for now, folks! If you have any tips or tricks to making and sticking with goals, share them below! Also, if you have made any resolutions this year, share them and join the conversation.

Be honest with yourself, and believe in yourself.

Peace, love, and everlasting happiness.

Psychiatry Update #1

Comfortably one day short of being on the road trip through the world of psychiatry, I feel compelled to update as to my progress. I had many fears, worries, neuroses, etc on beginning the life-long trip through the medicated mental illness world.

I am glad to say that I feel pretty fantastic on the whole.

Despite being rather frustrated at the psychatrist who, basically, tried to rediagnose me after a 20 minute appointment, I got a prescription for Seroquel XR.

Seroquel XR is basically a magic pill that helps people with issues ranging from sleep issues and anxieties (lower doses), borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder (medium doses), all the way up to paranoid schizophrenia (high doses).

Initially told to take 50mg for 2 days, then bump it up to 150mg on the third day, I (obviously) ignored that and have been taking just 50mg daily.

What a freaking difference. Honestly.

I still feel the mood shifting, and I get frustrated and anxious, but it's not overwhelming anymore. I've been sleeping so much better, and deeper. My ability to pay attention throughout the day and even take on new tasks has drastically improved.

Even the WonderWife has said that I'm not a zombie anymore. She also says it's kind of like dealing with a child with ADD... but at least there's responsiveness!

I've been told that it takes about 4-6 weeks for the drug to really stabilize in my system, but so far I am very pleased with the results. Not to mention that it's now significantly easier for me to actually go to sleep at a relatively normal hour.

I have gained a bit of weight, but that had started before, and that just means I need to take a closer look at the foods and drinks I'm putting into my body, and the energy I am expending.

Thanks for following me on this journey, and as always:

Peace, love, and tranquility (for once)

Trying New Things: Persimmons

As I scope through the flyers, occasionally I notice new trends. This past month it has been persimmons.

They were in almost every flyer! I had never heard of them before, but decided to buy one on a whim. Just one, in case they weren't any good.

So it sat on my counter for six days. Six days I watched it get riper and riper, and I still had no idea how to eat it or what it would taste like.

Today I bit the bullet. I looked up "how to eat a persimmon" and read the first non-video page.

Mmmm... tasty!

Turns out, you just slice the leaves off the top and cut it into wedges as you would a tomato. Except that this fruit, unlike the tomato, was not acidic in the least.

The flesh was soft and squishy, pleasant on the palate. The taste was a deep sweet, a satisfying sweetness that sat wonderfully on my tongue and ruined the taste of coffee for me that I was trying to drink at the same time.

It was delicious! Sweet like a berry, soft like a berry, but bigger, and fuller.

Thus shall begin my irregular and non-sequential series that is going to be ostensibly called "Trying new things"

Because it's good to try new things, particularly when the new things turns out to be so... tasty.

Stay tuned!

Peace, love, and eat fruit!

Roadtripping into Psychiatry

Today is a milestone of a day for me, and I'm not entirely sure how it's going to go.

I'm also a little afraid. But that might just be my anxiety speaking. Fear of the unknown, the stigmatized, the "different"

Not that I'm afraid of different when it comes to other people, but it's hard for me to grasp about myself sometimes.

So when it became clear to me that my mental illness had been progressively getting worse, and that the level of my exhaustion at... not hiding, but... camouflaging.. the severity of most of my symptoms from the general public. (Mainly due to my preference of not being looked at as the crazy lady downtown, and other weird things... most of which may just be personal hang-ups, I admit.) That meant it was time to maybe try something new (to me).

Which, in my case, involves medication, since I've tried basically every single other thing out there.

Here's what I currently do:

-biweekly therapy to work on my anxiety and interpersonal issues (stemming from the anxiety and personality disorders)
-vitamin D consumption in the colder months where the sun doesn't help me make it anymore
-drinking enough water
-maintaining a fairly consistent sleep schedule
-tracking my mood on the spectrum on a daily basis (thank god for technology!)
-writing
-art
-general creative stuff

And some of the things I've tried, or that I do intermittently (AKA when I remember or feel like it):

-eating healthy all the time (it's about 70/30 ratio)
-not drinking coffee (that's just not going to happen)
-taking omega-3 supplements
-taking all sorts of damn supplements
-lots of other random crap that I can't think of right now

It's not that nothing I do works, it's that it doesn't work enough.

And you know what? That's okay! It's not a bad thing, it just is.

So today, I go to the outpatient psychiatry unit of the Queensway Carleton Hospital for an assessment, and then they will figure out what sorts of medication to put me on. Which begins the trial-and-error that goes along with any type of medication for a chronic illness. So bear with me.

Thanks for following my on my journey through my life.

Peace, love, and stay awesome!

My Quirky Habits

So I decided to make a list of all the weird or quirky things I do for no real logical reason.

1. When I take a newspaper from a newspaper box, I never take the top one, even if the top one is intact. I usually take the fourth one. If there is only one paper, I won't take it.

I don't really have a reason for this, I just don't take the top few. People have touched those ones, and messed them up. I like a nice clean newspaper that hasn't been sullied.

2. My closet needs to be organized in a certain way or I can't find my clothes. I will take pictures of my closet and post them at a later date.

By I can't find my clothes, I literally mean that I cannot get dressed until it's fixed. I know it's weird, and I know there's no reason for it, but it's just one of those things. I don't mind having my closet organized though, and it doesn't take long to put stuff away in order, so it doesn't detriment me much.

3. I have a terrible memory, and so to help myself remember stuff, I have to write it down. Which sounds pretty average, except that it has to be hand written onto a notepad or somewhere flat.

Notebooks and agendas are no good, anything easily portable does not reliably help retain brain stuff. Thanks to my smart phone, I get pop up reminders, which is great. But it doesn't have the same satisfaction of just straight up remembering stuff.

4. If I'm listening to music, I'm either singing along silently or grooving. No matter if I'm on the bus, walking up the street, or chilling at my desk at work. People look at me weird, but I just love music and grooving out.

I've noticed that very few people do this. It's too bad, music is a key to the soul.

Anyways, I"m sure there are more, but that's all I can think of for now.

Do you have any quirky habits or odd routines? Do people look at you oddly when you do something that seems completely normal to you? Please share, we can rejoice in each others oddities.

Peace, love, and nerdy love!

The Weight of Obligation

Obligation. It’s a heavy word that is thrown around fairly frequently to induce guilt.


Picture yourself in this situation:

There is a work event to ‘pat the back’ of some of the better employees. This is a job where you are treated like crap by everyone, from clients to coworkers alike, you often get yelled at for doing things properly, and yelled at to do things that you are already doing. Your boss forces you to agree to drive 2-4 other employees to this event, even though you don’t know some of the people you would be driving. You weren’t going to attend this event, seeing as a pat on the back doesn’t make up for how miserable you feel about your job.

Do you go? Or do you not? If not, how do you break it to your fellow employees that they are not getting a ride?

This is a challenging situation. If you feel obligation towards others for a commitment that you didn’t actually make, it may be time to reconsider your priorities. Especially if it makes you feel like you are disappointing people that you don’t really have any emotional attachment to. In the interest in relatively full disclosure, I will tell you that this situation did not happen to me, but it did happen to someone I know.

Image source: michaelhyatt.com

Saying no and meaning it

This comes down to the ability to say “no” and stick to it. It is really hard sometimes, especially when it is someone who is superior to you asking (or telling) you to do something. Whether it’s your mother, aunt, grandfather, or boss at work, there is an automatic sense of obligation towards these people. And it doesn’t seem to matter if they ever do anything for you or not. It tends to actually be worse if the person asking (or telling) you do to something for them doesn’t reciprocate, though I honestly have a hard time understanding why that is.

Personally, I have come a long way in terms of being able to say “no” and I confess fully that it is a very hard thing to learn. Especially if you were never allowed to say “no” growing up. Learning to politely, but firmly, decline requests or orders when you are in your 20’s is a process in itself. It starts with confidence. Confidence in yourself to know what you want to do in life and what you are willing to do in others, and confidence enough to be able to put your foot down in the name of yourself.

When you feel obligated to do something that you really don’t want to do, it’s important to figure out why. Why is it that you feel you have to accomplish or complete this ‘obligation’ in order to feel satisfied? Does the requester hold some power over you? Have you intentionally given them this power, or is the power just by proxy from you not putting your foot down earlier? If this is something you want to overcome, it becomes more important to consider the relationships that you have with those around you and the impact their requests have on you.

Image source: xintiammo.blogspot.com

The importance of compromise... on both sides

In the above situation, there ended up being a compromise reached. My friend did end up going to the event, but did not carpool the other employees. Instead, one of the other people who were attending drove a few, and others just took the bus. My friend did have fun, and enjoyed her time there, because the obligation of driving the other individuals was no longer her concern and the car wasn’t going to be used for something that she didn’t want it to be. Close to the middle, and both sides were satisfied because they got something they wanted.

This is often the case when you want to start getting unwanted obligations off your back. Compromise can really work to everyone’s benefit when those on both sides work together. To be able to find a compromise, you need to first assess what you are willing to do in this situation, and how far you are willing to bend your own time to suit the requester’s needs. Then you have to go to that person and talk to them. Tell them your issues and your flexibilities; make sure they understand where the line is that you are saying no more. The only thing left is to find a middle ground.



Image source: redbubble.com



Starting small and gaining confidence

Despite the fact that this can seem confrontational and scary, it isn’t really that bad. My personal experience says that if someone is asking something of you, they want something for a reason. They will usually take any small part of that task or request that you offer, because that’s one less thing that they need to do. Start with smaller things, and work your way towards feeling confident in fully denying things that you really don’t want to or don’t feel comfortable doing. Each time you compromise or deny something like this, your level of confidence and faith in yourself will go up. Stick to your guns and feel good about the things that your precious time and energy are put into.
Everything you do should benefit yourself or your relationships somehow. If it isn’t, you will need to decide if it is really that important for you to do. Use your time on things that really matter to you, that move you forward somehow whether it’s emotionally, physically, or interpersonally. Otherwise, it’s just something that will suck up your time and leave you feeling like you haven’t really achieved anything. I’ve been there, and it’s not a happy place. So start making yourself happier by following your heart and sticking to your guns. It is always worth it.


As always,
Peace, love, and wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff

Chasing Dreams Step 1 Update #4 + Step 2

Sorry for the delay, yesterday was a busy day! I have a job interview this morning, and I also will no longer be dropping my daughter off at daycare in the mornings. The girl we babysit for in the evenings is willing to do a trade, so hopefully that will help my lateness become less of an issue, particularly in the winter when there is no sunlightl.

So anyways, here is my update from the last week about my dream chasing:

Thursday July 5: Done!
Friday July 6: Partially done (did 14 pushups, skipped the crunches, everything else done)
Saturday July 7: Nope
Sunday July 8: Done!
Monday July 9: Done (14 pushups)
Tuesday July 10: Nope, did some cardio though
Wednesday July 11: Done! (14 pushups)

4.5/7 this time. I figure I'm doing pretty good at managing 4-5 days a week, which is wicked. My goal is to do a 20 minute Zumba workout in the mornings, which may start next week or the week after. I have definitely noticed changes in the way my body feels and looks, and WW has also noticed that I look a bit trimmer. Woo! Progress!

Time to bump it up some more:

50 jumping jacks with Zumba toning sticks in hand
15 pushups (still working on making it all the way down for the full 10)
15 crunches/sit-ups
15 wide-legged squats

Now that I have a fairly good routine going on with step 1, on to step 2 of chasing dreams.

I want to be published in print. To do so, I need to write, and I need to put myself out there. First off, I want to finish my novel. So step 2 part 1 is: Work on the novel (whether it's writing, brainstorming, editing, etc) every single day for at least 15 minutes.

Then when I update here, I have to say what I was doing (whether it was writing, editing, etc).

Now, when I do my update next week, there will be two parts to it. The update for step 1 (health) and the update for step 2 (writing/publishing).

Hope you'll follow along and share your steps toward chasing down your dreams!

Chasing Dreams Step 1 Update #3

My god I am boring lately! Holy crap! I swear, hopefully soon I will start posting some more interesting diatribes... Maybe... Well I'll try.

So anyways, here is my update from the last week about my dream chasing:

Thursday June 28: Done!
Friday June 29: Partially done (skipped the crunches/situps)
Saturday June 30: Negative, but took a 20 minute walk
Sunday July 1: Nope, but took a 15 minute walk
Monday July 2: Holiday Monday, sheesh I didn't do anything!
Tuesday July 3: Done!
Wednesday July 4: Done!

3.5/7 isn't that like 50%? That's a PASS! WOO! Yeah... I'm reaching.

So, since I still have soreness going on with this routine, I'm going to continue it. I think that tracking it is ACTUALLY making me more accountable, because before I would say I was going to exercise more regularly... and didn't. But since I'm reporting it here (even though no one reads it) I feel more obligated.

This is the routine, in case you're too lazy to check the last update:

50 jumping jacks with Zumba toning sticks in hand
10 pushups (still working on making it all the way down for the full 10)
10 crunches/sit-ups
5 wide-legged squats

Work in progress!

I know I also haven't been writing like... anything lately, anywhere. My weekly wrap-ups haven't been happening... because I haven't really been writing. At least not outside of my novel, that I'm not posting because I would love to publish it when it's done. It will be awesome.

Still willing to share character write-ups though, if there's interest.




Anyone else chasing their dreams one step at a time? Chime in!

Chasing Dreams: Step 1 Update #2

So here is my update from the last week about my dream chasing:

Thursday June 21: Done!
Friday June 22: Nope
Saturday June 23: Negative
Sunday June 24: Done!
Monday June 25: Done!
Tuesday June 26: Done!
Wednesday June 27: Done!

Oh yeah, I rock. 5/7 is a WAYYY better track record. Seriously. And I'm not too sore, despite doing 4 days in a row! Awesome!

Now to switch it up a bit, here's my new routine:

50 jumping jacks with Zumba toning sticks in hand
10 pushups (still working on making it all the way down for the full 10)
10 crunches/sit-ups
5 wide-legged squats

Just a few changes, little by little! I would also like to note that since the last time I weighed myself, I dropped 4 pounds. Not that I'm really aiming for a specific number, but it's kind of nice to see a difference. Especially when the clothes aren't really fitting better yet.

Work in progress!

Also, does anyone else thinks it's sad that my last post was a week ago, which was update #1? I need to write more. I've been slacking.

And by slacking, I mean working feverishly to finish the novel (A Quiet Awakening is my working title) I started over a year ago. Still on the first draft phase, but I'm at least back to adding to it. I should really start typing it up.

Is anyone interested in reading character summaries?



Anyone else chasing their dreams one step at a time? Chime in!

Chasing Dreams: Step 1 Update

After last week's post on Chasing Dreams, literally the next day, I came down with a cold that knocked me off my feet for 2 days. Go figure. I am still recovering from the cold, but have been doing my exercises for the past 2 days. So here is my update:

Wednesday June 13: Done!
Thursday June 14: Sick
Friday June 15: Sick
Saturday June 16: Not done (strawberry picking instead, and recovering)
Sunday June 17: Not done (recovering)
Monday June 18: Not done (recovering)
Tuesday June 19: Done! (recovering)
Wednesday June 20: Done! (recovering)

After doing it 2 days in a row this week, my muscles are sore. So I'm not going to increase any reps or sets until next week.

Until next week, my morning routine is still as follows:

50 jumping jacks
10 pushups
5 yoga ball sit-ups (or 10 bed crunches)

Anyone else chasing their dreams one step at a time? Chime in!

Chasing Dreams: Step 1

Chasing my dreams is a big deal, and I want to share my progress with anyone who comes across this site. It all starts with small steps, and from there you take increasing amounts of small steps. It's a big deal in the end, but the progress seems easy. Keep it simple, make it easy, make it impossible to give up on yourself.


Step one towards chasing my dreams is going to be increasing my health and fitness level. I eat relatively healthy most of the time, but I am very inactive. I barely exercise, and some days I really don't understand how I don't weigh more than I do.


So starting today, I am pledging this small step.


50 jumping jacks in the morning
10 push ups in the morning
5 yoga ball sit ups in the morning


That's it! A week from now, I'm going to reassess, see if it's getting any easier. This small routine should take all of 5 minutes to complete, but it can make a huge difference.


Not to mention that increasing my health through activity is a great way to ensure mental health, and help keep my mood swings a little more manageable. Routine is the key to consistency to any degree, and having routine helps keep me going even when all I want to do is curl up into a ball and pretend the world doesn't exist.


Through this small addition to my routine, I am opening the door for increased fitness and exercise throughout the day, and throughout my life.


Take a step today towards a bigger goal. Make a small change that you can't say no to.


I know I did.

Changes

Turns out that 2012 will be the year for big changes in my life and the life of my immediate family!

I recently found out that my job would not be extended as of September 21st. So as of then, I will no longer be working for Corporate Canada. What a relief it is, to be honest. I'm sure that a few people in my life will be upset that I'm "giving up an awesome job and chance at a secure future" but honestly, I'm tired of the bureaucratic bullsh*t.

This will give me a chance to follow my dream of being a writer, actually set myself out there and maybe even get published in print. As a novelist, or an opinionist, maybe both. Being able to relax and spend time focusing on myself and what I want to do will be a nice change.

The only issue comes from the inherent lack of immediate revenue that comes from starting to be self-employed. There will be a huge loss of income, which I'm hoping to start boosting starting now. Thankfully I have a few months to get myself on track so that at the very least the bills and necessities will be covered as of October.

Number one thing we (me and WonderWife) are working on is building up a huge emergency fund. That way, if the income isn't up where we need it we have some money to fall back on. This is (surprisingly) turning out to be more challenging than I thought it would be, but I'm also waiting on some insurance refunds to come in. Once those go into the account, it should definitely help.

Another big change that I'm going through is painting. I am actually putting paintbrush to canvas and doing some art. I may consider selling some of it, if I think there's any interest, but for now it's mostly therapeutic. Deciding (thanks to WW and my therapist) that the final product doesn't have to be perfect, and to put the effort into the process, has set me free of a few personally imposed limits and allowed me to just try. (photo of one painting to come, when I'm at my home computer)

I would really like to get my own domain name at some point to expand on this site, but for now it is far too much complication for the limited access to the internet that I get, so it is put on the backburner for now.

How do you cope with huge changes in your life? Have you ever experienced job loss, if so, what did you do with the opportunity?