Friday, December 28, 2012

My Merry Christmas!

Christmas was good to me and my family this year, with lots of family time spent, and reuniting. Great gifts all around, given and received. Time spent together as a family, sharing and growing closer. 

An example of a great gift is what I am  using to type this blog post right now. A brand new laptop. Lenovo I7 processor, 4 gigs of RAM, and the Windows 8 operating system. I also got a couple of books, a t-shirt, and some AWESOME Doctor Who paraphernalia.

My WonderWife got an iPod touch, and some work clothes, a new jacket (leather with sheepskin interior) and a new Toronto Maple Leafs hat.

The little Munchkin got an eReader (and started reading A Tale of Two Cities... willingly.) lots of clothes, a new movie, and lots and lots of craft gear. 

But more than that, we spent a great 4 days in total so far with various members of the family. Chatting and connecting. I have become closer to my cousins than I ever thought possible, and I am so grateful to have them. They are unique and fun individuals with likes and dislikes emerging as they become mature and more adult.

WW has spent time talking and hanging out with her family, and has expanded her family further, meeting new members that she had never met before.

It was a great holiday, and I look forward to next year and every day in between.

Peace, love, and merry christmas.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Psychiatry Update #1

Comfortably one day short of being on the road trip through the world of psychiatry, I feel compelled to update as to my progress. I had many fears, worries, neuroses, etc on beginning the life-long trip through the medicated mental illness world.

I am glad to say that I feel pretty fantastic on the whole.

Despite being rather frustrated at the psychatrist who, basically, tried to rediagnose me after a 20 minute appointment, I got a prescription for Seroquel XR.

Seroquel XR is basically a magic pill that helps people with issues ranging from sleep issues and anxieties (lower doses), borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder (medium doses), all the way up to paranoid schizophrenia (high doses).

Initially told to take 50mg for 2 days, then bump it up to 150mg on the third day, I (obviously) ignored that and have been taking just 50mg daily.

What a freaking difference. Honestly.

I still feel the mood shifting, and I get frustrated and anxious, but it's not overwhelming anymore. I've been sleeping so much better, and deeper. My ability to pay attention throughout the day and even take on new tasks has drastically improved.

Even the WonderWife has said that I'm not a zombie anymore. She also says it's kind of like dealing with a child with ADD... but at least there's responsiveness!

I've been told that it takes about 4-6 weeks for the drug to really stabilize in my system, but so far I am very pleased with the results. Not to mention that it's now significantly easier for me to actually go to sleep at a relatively normal hour.

I have gained a bit of weight, but that had started before, and that just means I need to take a closer look at the foods and drinks I'm putting into my body, and the energy I am expending.

Thanks for following me on this journey, and as always:

Peace, love, and tranquility (for once)

Monday, December 3, 2012

Trying New Things: Persimmons

As I scope through the flyers, occasionally I notice new trends. This past month it has been persimmons.

They were in almost every flyer! I had never heard of them before, but decided to buy one on a whim. Just one, in case they weren't any good.

So it sat on my counter for six days. Six days I watched it get riper and riper, and I still had no idea how to eat it or what it would taste like.

Today I bit the bullet. I looked up "how to eat a persimmon" and read the first non-video page.

Mmmm... tasty!

Turns out, you just slice the leaves off the top and cut it into wedges as you would a tomato. Except that this fruit, unlike the tomato, was not acidic in the least.

The flesh was soft and squishy, pleasant on the palate. The taste was a deep sweet, a satisfying sweetness that sat wonderfully on my tongue and ruined the taste of coffee for me that I was trying to drink at the same time.

It was delicious! Sweet like a berry, soft like a berry, but bigger, and fuller.

Thus shall begin my irregular and non-sequential series that is going to be ostensibly called "Trying new things"

Because it's good to try new things, particularly when the new things turns out to be so... tasty.

Stay tuned!

Peace, love, and eat fruit!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

I Did It! (NaNoWriMo 2012)

I did it. I hit the 50,000 word goal.

I am not finished my story, what's left is mostly details and filling in the blanks that rushing through the word count created.

Not to mention fixing the multiple continuity issues that are throughout the 91 page Microsoft Word document.

But... I win.

Oh what a glorious feeling!

Thanks to everyone who believed in me, and thanks to everyone who didn't. You were all fabulous.

Peace, love, and SUCCESS!

Monday, November 26, 2012

Update! NaNoWriMo, writing, and Christmas!

Five days to go. Five more days to finish the first draft of my novel. The best part of it this year? I'm actually on track. I will win this year, first time, and I am so excited.

I think I will share an excerpt of what I have so far later this week.

Other than that, I will be doing a great deal of editing next month and am planning on starting up with writing articles for The Golden Vanguard and Helium again starting next week.

Also, getting ready for Christmas has begun and we are getting to crunch time. We should be ready by next weekend. Hopefully. Otherwise I think that WonderWife will start a rampage.

Peace, love, and Best Wishes!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Roadtripping into Psychiatry

Today is a milestone of a day for me, and I'm not entirely sure how it's going to go.

I'm also a little afraid. But that might just be my anxiety speaking. Fear of the unknown, the stigmatized, the "different"

Not that I'm afraid of different when it comes to other people, but it's hard for me to grasp about myself sometimes.

So when it became clear to me that my mental illness had been progressively getting worse, and that the level of my exhaustion at... not hiding, but... camouflaging.. the severity of most of my symptoms from the general public. (Mainly due to my preference of not being looked at as the crazy lady downtown, and other weird things... most of which may just be personal hang-ups, I admit.) That meant it was time to maybe try something new (to me).

Which, in my case, involves medication, since I've tried basically every single other thing out there.

Here's what I currently do:

-biweekly therapy to work on my anxiety and interpersonal issues (stemming from the anxiety and personality disorders)
-vitamin D consumption in the colder months where the sun doesn't help me make it anymore
-drinking enough water
-maintaining a fairly consistent sleep schedule
-tracking my mood on the spectrum on a daily basis (thank god for technology!)
-general creative stuff

And some of the things I've tried, or that I do intermittently (AKA when I remember or feel like it):

-eating healthy all the time (it's about 70/30 ratio)
-not drinking coffee (that's just not going to happen)
-taking omega-3 supplements
-taking all sorts of damn supplements
-lots of other random crap that I can't think of right now

It's not that nothing I do works, it's that it doesn't work enough.

And you know what? That's okay! It's not a bad thing, it just is.

So today, I go to the outpatient psychiatry unit of the Queensway Carleton Hospital for an assessment, and then they will figure out what sorts of medication to put me on. Which begins the trial-and-error that goes along with any type of medication for a chronic illness. So bear with me.

Thanks for following my on my journey through my life.

Peace, love, and stay awesome!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Week 3 of NaNoWriMo - status

Heading into week 3 of national novel writing month, and I'm proud to say that o am still on track!

My characters have twisted my story a bit, and probably made it more interesting. Not to mention that they are developing fun traits that I hadn't imagined before November 1st.

I am looking forward to finishing, and this has definitely been my most reassuring, positive, and generally good feeling NaNoWriMo in all three years.

Peace, love, and write on!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

On a downer

Some days are better than others, that much applies to pretty much everyone.

Some days I feel like everything is wrong or off and nothing is the way it should be.

I can't talk to anyone about what I feel, some would say I'm exaggerating, others would fear for me and my sanity, others still would think me melodramatic, or whatever.

It isn't that easy, its not so cut and dry. Triggering mood swings happens, but when it does, the mood goes fucking nuts. No in between, no maybe its only halfway.

All the damn way.

Like now. I am struggling to even go to work in the morning. I force myself to go no matter how much I just want to lay in bed and wait for the day to be over.

I don't want to get dressed and look presentable. I don't want to pretend I give two flying fucks about my boss or her stories. I don't want to smile when I feel dead inside.

But I do. I force myself to. Because no matter how shitty or dead I feel inside, I know that it will pass, eventually. It's just a matter of waiting.

The optimism is fading, it is starting to feel like I will never know what it is to not being the midst of a mood swing. What it feels like to not be stuck between wanting to scream and yell, and wanting to cry, out of sheer irritation and frustration.

When does it stop? When does the even keel show up?

I'm waiting.


Blindly groping for some tiny shred of sanity. Exhausted.

Please, just stop. Please, find the middle. Let me know what sanity feels like, however momentarily. Let me clutch it tightly and remember it so that I have something to remember, to hold onto.

Don't leave me floating aimlessly. It just hurts with no pain.

Happy Wednesday.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I am boring

Right now I feel like a very boring person. All of my free time is going towards either working or writing, and I can't (read: won't) share with you what I'm writing right now because it's a horrible mess of a first draft that may or may not all make sense by the end.

It's coming out in chunks that are chronologically out of order, yet I must write that way and hope that I can connect it all together.

Because this story started as one thing and has become another. The other may be more interesting, and it is certainly taking me in different ways, but it was certainly unexpected. The ending I had originally planned (read: thought of) may not actually end up how it all turns out.

But you know what? I'm okay with that. Because nothing is concrete until it's published and bound. So until then, I'm going to keep trucking through this awful novel and hope that some good nuggets of literary wonder come out of it.

If you want to know anything about my novel, click this handy little link.

And, as always,


Thursday, November 8, 2012

My Halloween costume

Here are some little pictures of my awesome costume. Show me yours now!

Peace, love, and Rose Tyler...

Why even try to participate in NaNoWriMo?

Ever since I found out about NaNoWriMo 2 years ago, I have at least attempted to participate. Two years having attempted, and two years of not completing the goal. But am I discouraged? Hell no.

A lot of people wonder why anyone would try to write a novel in 30 days. To them, I say:

Why not?

Why would I tell myself that I can't do something, when I'm already trying to do something extremely difficult (namely: become a published author)?

The point of NaNoWriMo is not to pump out a bestselling novel ready for publishing in 30 days. The entire point is to force yourself to write, to turn off your inner editor and allow yourself to write garbage just to get your messy and fuzzy ideas out of your head and onto paper/word processor.

There can never be a final published draft without first a rough draft. And let me tell you, rough drafts are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS crap. They are disorganized, they are unrefined, they are messy. Stephen King starts each of his novels with a rough draft that sucks, as does J.K. Rowling, as does Michael Chrichton , and every single other published and non-published author out there.

So yeah, your (and my) NaNo novel is going to suck like nothing else. But that's where beauty is made, in taking the beautiful ideas that you have strewn and barfed all over the page, and making them organized, beautiful, and maybe a little bit crazy but at least somewhat logical.

That's the point.

Peace, love, and WRITE ON B*TCHES!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

NaNoWriMo 2012!

I am participating in NaNoWriMo again this year.

For those who are not familiar with the binge writing event of November, more info can be found at 

Basically, it is a challenge to write the first draft of a full sized novel (or at least a 50k word novella) in a month.

This is my third year attempting it. And damnit I'm going to succeed.

To track my progress, follow me on Twitter (@Lovelikewinter3) or stay tuned here. Those of you who have me on facebook will see me there updating regularly as well.

Best wishes!

Peace, love, and dear-god-I-need-to-write!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Writing Wrap-Up (Catch-up!) October 2012

It's been a while since I summarized the writing that I've been doing, so I'm going to play a little bit of catch-up for anyone who is interested.

On I've added some flash fiction pieces, Death Overthrows, The Next Best Thing, and A Deep Awakening. Please note that these titles may be different on the Helium page, since it has to go under a general title, but I still have my own titles.

I've also thrown in a little bit of something new (and yet also old, for those who have known me a few years) by dabbling into the poetry section. Changing Memories, Neverending Ends, You and Me, and We Are One.

Finally on the Helium front, I've done some reviewing of entertainment and media. First was a review of Trespassing, the new album by the wonderful Adam Lambert. Next was a review of An Abundance of Katherines by John Green, followed by Paper Towns by John Green. Lastly (for now), a review of the Doctor Who episode "Blink" which was one of my favourites.

Other than that, I've done some work for The Golden Vanguard, the online news site that I've been with since they started. This includes another similar review of An Abundance of Katherines by John Green (great book! Gotta spread the love!). I also did a review of The Amazing Spiderman, the newest incarnation of the Marvel hero Spiderman, starring Andrew Garfield.

Some Halloween contributions for The Golden Vanguard include a brief history of the Salem Witch Trials, and something a little more recent which is the topic of whether or not children's costumes should be "sexy" (my opinion is a strong and emphatic NO!).

So that's what I've been up to lately. If you have any comments, questions, etc, feel free to leave them here or drop me a line. I'd love to hear from you!

Friday, October 19, 2012

The Meaninglessness of Labels

There is an unspoken perception in the world, a perception that affects each and every person and yet hides unnoticed.

That is the perception of labels and simplicity.

Regardless of your social status, if people see you on the street they will full on judge you based on what you're wearing.

Wearing skinny jeans and nerd glasses? Hipster.
Wearing bright colours that don't quite match and lots of jewelry? Raver.
Dressed all in black draping clothing? Goth.

Do you want to know what's interesting? You could see me on the street on any given day wearing one of these outfits, and yet I don't consider myself any of the above three labels.

The clothes you wear can certainly impact how people see you and interpret your behaviour. But clothing does not make you a label, and labels don't force you into any type of clothing.

There is no rule that says only goths are allowed to wear tacky halloween jewelry and dark clothing all the time, just as there is no rule saying that only hipsters can drink Starbucks and listen to obscure music.

You make your own labels, and you destroy them. Life isn't as simple as slapping a label onto someone and calling it official.

Life is deep, complicated, mixed up, and shaded with every colour imaginable. There is nothing simple, binary, or easy about life or about other people. There is only variances.

Break the rules, and break the labels. They mean nothing.

So what if you want to wear a baggy sweatshirt on top of your nice professional shirt? So what if you love those jeans that may have a couple of holes in them but they still fit like a dream?

So freaking what.

Dress for yourself, be honest with yourself, and accept that each person will dress in whatever they want and that doesn't make them any better or worse of a person.

Peace, love, and butterflies.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Reading, Writing, and Halloween

Stuff that is going on right now:
-Lots of reading (John Green is my current novelist of choice, and let me tell you... phenomenal)
-Trying to write, despite the daunting and crushing pressure of my inner critic
-Making my own Halloween costume!

Life is what you make it, and right now for me it is busy. Not busy in the pretentious "oh I'm just soooo busy" but busy in the "there's a lot of things I'm working on right now and it's kind of overwhelming but satisfying at the same time" kind of way.

Which might also sound pretentious, but that interpretation is on you.

Searching out ways to tell myself that my writing is good enough is a challenge, and the thought of other people reading my fiction (as much as I WANT SO BADLY to be published) is horrifyingly scary.

Yet, how will I ever acheive it if I don't suck it up and do it?

I won't. My therapist told me the same thing. Yet, who would want to read my drabble aside from the WonderWife (who would say it's good even if she thought it was skunk-sprayed-garbage because she loves me and knows that writing makes me happy)?

Such is the trouble.

However, I am not going to let that stop me. If anyone reading this would be interested in commenting on or reviewing anything I've written (fiction or non-fiction), let me know! I need feedback to grow!

And if you want, I will return the favour by giving my honest thoughts on your creative outpouring of your soul.

As always, peace, love, and nerdtastic.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

My Quirky Habits

So I decided to make a list of all the weird or quirky things I do for no real logical reason.

1. When I take a newspaper from a newspaper box, I never take the top one, even if the top one is intact. I usually take the fourth one. If there is only one paper, I won't take it.

I don't really have a reason for this, I just don't take the top few. People have touched those ones, and messed them up. I like a nice clean newspaper that hasn't been sullied.
2. My closet needs to be organized in a certain way or I can't find my clothes. I will take pictures of my closet and post them at a later date.
By I can't find my clothes, I literally mean that I cannot get dressed until it's fixed. I know it's weird, and I know there's no reason for it, but it's just one of those things. I don't mind having my closet organized though, and it doesn't take long to put stuff away in order, so it doesn't detriment me much.
3. I have a terrible memory, and so to help myself remember stuff, I have to write it down. Which sounds pretty average, except that it has to be hand written onto a notepad or somewhere flat.
Notebooks and agendas are no good, anything easily portable does not reliably help retain brain stuff. Thanks to my smart phone, I get pop up reminders, which is great. But it doesn't have the same satisfaction of just straight up remembering stuff.
4. If I'm listening to music, I'm either singing along silently or grooving. No matter if I'm on the bus, walking up the street, or chilling at my desk at work. People look at me weird, but I just love music and grooving out.
I've noticed that very few people do this. It's too bad, music is a key to the soul.

Anyways, I"m sure there are more, but that's all I can think of for now.

Do you have any quirky habits or odd routines? Do people look at you oddly when you do something that seems completely normal to you? Please share, we can rejoice in each others oddities.

Peace, love, and nerdy love!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Milestone! 500 views!

Huzzah, people read me! I've hit 500 views (514 as I write this) in total. Which doesn't seem like a lot to some of the bigger websites and blogs out there, but this is a non-niche, non-specific blog, so I think that's pretty fantastic.

I'd really appreciate getting some feedback on what sort of things people like hearing from me, because I can ramble and I'm also super random. But if there's anything that any one of my readers (regular or not) would like to see, I'd definitely be willing to share!

So here's to my first 500 views, and to my next 500! Maybe I'll hit it in less time.

Please share any thoughts you've got.

And I have a writing wrap-up post coming in short order, since I've been doing a lot of writing lately! Yay!

Peace, love, and geronimo!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Weight of Obligation

Obligation. It’s a heavy word that is thrown around fairly frequently to induce guilt.

Picture yourself in this situation:

There is a work event to ‘pat the back’ of some of the better employees. This is a job where you are treated like crap by everyone, from clients to coworkers alike, you often get yelled at for doing things properly, and yelled at to do things that you are already doing. Your boss forces you to agree to drive 2-4 other employees to this event, even though you don’t know some of the people you would be driving. You weren’t going to attend this event, seeing as a pat on the back doesn’t make up for how miserable you feel about your job.

Do you go? Or do you not? If not, how do you break it to your fellow employees that they are not getting a ride?

This is a challenging situation. If you feel obligation towards others for a commitment that you didn’t actually make, it may be time to reconsider your priorities. Especially if it makes you feel like you are disappointing people that you don’t really have any emotional attachment to. In the interest in relatively full disclosure, I will tell you that this situation did not happen to me, but it did happen to someone I know.

Image source:

Saying no and meaning it

This comes down to the ability to say “no” and stick to it. It is really hard sometimes, especially when it is someone who is superior to you asking (or telling) you to do something. Whether it’s your mother, aunt, grandfather, or boss at work, there is an automatic sense of obligation towards these people. And it doesn’t seem to matter if they ever do anything for you or not. It tends to actually be worse if the person asking (or telling) you do to something for them doesn’t reciprocate, though I honestly have a hard time understanding why that is.

Personally, I have come a long way in terms of being able to say “no” and I confess fully that it is a very hard thing to learn. Especially if you were never allowed to say “no” growing up. Learning to politely, but firmly, decline requests or orders when you are in your 20’s is a process in itself. It starts with confidence. Confidence in yourself to know what you want to do in life and what you are willing to do in others, and confidence enough to be able to put your foot down in the name of yourself.

When you feel obligated to do something that you really don’t want to do, it’s important to figure out why. Why is it that you feel you have to accomplish or complete this ‘obligation’ in order to feel satisfied? Does the requester hold some power over you? Have you intentionally given them this power, or is the power just by proxy from you not putting your foot down earlier? If this is something you want to overcome, it becomes more important to consider the relationships that you have with those around you and the impact their requests have on you.

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The importance of compromise... on both sides

In the above situation, there ended up being a compromise reached. My friend did end up going to the event, but did not carpool the other employees. Instead, one of the other people who were attending drove a few, and others just took the bus. My friend did have fun, and enjoyed her time there, because the obligation of driving the other individuals was no longer her concern and the car wasn’t going to be used for something that she didn’t want it to be. Close to the middle, and both sides were satisfied because they got something they wanted.

This is often the case when you want to start getting unwanted obligations off your back. Compromise can really work to everyone’s benefit when those on both sides work together. To be able to find a compromise, you need to first assess what you are willing to do in this situation, and how far you are willing to bend your own time to suit the requester’s needs. Then you have to go to that person and talk to them. Tell them your issues and your flexibilities; make sure they understand where the line is that you are saying no more. The only thing left is to find a middle ground.

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Starting small and gaining confidence

Despite the fact that this can seem confrontational and scary, it isn’t really that bad. My personal experience says that if someone is asking something of you, they want something for a reason. They will usually take any small part of that task or request that you offer, because that’s one less thing that they need to do. Start with smaller things, and work your way towards feeling confident in fully denying things that you really don’t want to or don’t feel comfortable doing. Each time you compromise or deny something like this, your level of confidence and faith in yourself will go up. Stick to your guns and feel good about the things that your precious time and energy are put into.
Everything you do should benefit yourself or your relationships somehow. If it isn’t, you will need to decide if it is really that important for you to do. Use your time on things that really matter to you, that move you forward somehow whether it’s emotionally, physically, or interpersonally. Otherwise, it’s just something that will suck up your time and leave you feeling like you haven’t really achieved anything. I’ve been there, and it’s not a happy place. So start making yourself happier by following your heart and sticking to your guns. It is always worth it.

As always,
Peace, love, and wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff

Monday, September 24, 2012

Thoughts on nerdiness

What is a nerd? Why do people in the general population seem to think that calling someone a nerd is a huge insult? It's not. It just means that the person enjoys learning and being smart, and maybe a little bit obsessed about things.

Since when it being smart and enjoying things emphatically a bad thing?

I will be the first to confess, I am a gigantic nerd. I may not be supremely educated, but I love learning. I may suck at video games and PC games, but I love playing them. And I get ridiculously excited when the new Doctor Who episode is coming out.

Learning that all anglerfish are females is exciting to me.

Finding out what a quark is, after failing miserably to even understand basic physics in high school, is exciting to me.

And I'm not ashamed of it.

Being jump up and down excited about things is what life is about. Letting out your inner nerd and playing video games is a fun way to kill time and boost your hand-eye coordination.

Nerdiness is awesome. Nerds make things, invent things, start new trends. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs were both nerds, David Tennant is a nerd, and I am a nerd.

It is what it is, be who you are.

Peace, love, and nerd out.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Writing chains?

Inspired by Charlie from Youtube I have decided to make it a point to accomplish at least thirty minutes of writing on my novel each and every day.

Now this probably sounds like every other internet promise in the history of the internet, but I'm going to try this thing where I make an X on a calendar for each day that I accomplish this goal at the least.

It might work, it might not. But it is something promising which has worked for a person who can procrastinate as well as I can, so what's the harm.

I am going to see how long of a chain of days I can do before I miss a day, and then try to beat that record. I'm at 2 so far!

Wish me luck!

Peace, love, and DFTBA!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Looking forward each day

Looking forward to each day is an important thing to do. It is almost impossible some days to find something to look forward to, but it is essential that we treat each day as the gift it is.

Just a happy and inspirational thought for the day.

Peace, love, and geronimo!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

The difference a good neighbourhood makes

As I've stated before, WonderWife, Lil Munch and I have recently moved. Only about four blocks away from our old place, and into a different neighbourhood.

Can I just say, there are kids playing outside, mildly supervised, every single night? I have let the Lil Munch go out and play, without me being there watching, 2 nights in a row now.

I am not worried about her getting hit by a car, the open area and play structure are both surrounded by houses. I am not worried about anything happening because there are enough kids playing that they are their own security network.

I would never have let her do this in the old neighbourhood. No chance.

But here? Here she can explore, and thrive, and grow... With no worries.

It is fantastic.

Peace, love, and Serenity

Monday, September 10, 2012

Matching and Clashing

Each day I wake up and get dressed, I look at my clothes to decide what to wear. Some days, like today, I match nicely. Blue tank top with a white button up dress shirt and black dress pants, blue eye shadow and a blue flower clip in my hair.

Other days I clash horribly. I look right out of, and I don't care because I'm comfortable. The other day i had on purple capri workout pants, black cotton shirt with a collar, black steel toed boots. I looked AWESOME... Not. But I was rock hunting.

Makes me wonder why it matters to some people to match and look fab all the time. I think it would be exhausting. I commend the people who take the time out of their days to do that. I certainly won't be doing that. Even to work sometimes I look borderline ridiculous, but I'm always comfortable and covered, so the boss doesn't care.

Also makes you think about the ever changing definition of what is stylish or fashionable at any given point. What I'm wearing today is considered business casual, but will it still be next year? Probably not.

Keeping up with fashion is exhausting. I'd rather look good in my eyes, dress for my comfort, and handle the dirty looks that I get like a pro. New fashion doesn't necessarily mean you look good, so sticking with what I know works for my body and my shape makes me happy.

And isn't that what it's all about anyways?

Peace, love, and sonic screwdrivers

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Julep Maven box - September

Received my September Julep Maven box, and here's what came in it!

Bright green/turquoise and off white nail polish, and a tube of mascara. Awesome!

Can't wait to try them out!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Random mobile uploads - part three

Hard to believe it, but the move is done. Still lots of unpacking to do, but at least the furniture is moved and set up.

The place came with huge shelves in the basement, which is a huge perk, and they will be put to use holding and displaying my stockpile once it is unpacked.

School started for Lil Munch, and she got the same teacher she had in grade one, which is awesome. She has lucked out so hard for teachers in school, the only less than ideal one having been in junior kindergarten. Now she is in grade three, so that's 4 years of awesome teachers. Better track record than I had!

Money wise, the move has been a gigantic kick in the bank account, but thankfully we have been saving up extra cash so we're still ahead. Rest of the month will hopefully be on track, and October should be awesome. Just need to get all the food unpacked and moved so I can make an accurate shopping list based on what we actually need. Hard when everything is in boxes all over the place. We'll get there.

What new stuff in your lives has been going on? Inquiring minds need to know!

Peace, love, and Geronimo

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Updates from my mobile - part 2

Silly me, pushing myself too hard while running. I went jogging 2 days in a row, the route is around 5.5 kilometres. Except that I think I pulled my lower calf on my right leg.

Oops. It might just be DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) aka sore muscles, I just find it odd that it's only on the one leg.

In other news, trying to do filing for someone with a poor concept of information management protocols and organization while they are away is a pain in the ass.

I am currently sitting in McDonald's on Bank Street waiting for my earl grey tea to cool off enough that I can drink it, listening to One Thing by One Direction. I love how my phone has FM radio capabilities. It's fantastic.

This weekend is moving weekend, so it will be busy busy. WW thinks I am going to have at keast one anxiety attack during the move. Chances are it will be more, but we will see. We have someone who will be watching the Munchkin, so at least I will be able to freak out in peace.

Always find an upside.

I am currently working on a sketch for my mom, so we will see how that works out. When i am back on a PC I will upload the draft to this post. Those of you who have me on Facebook can see it by going into my "mobile uploads" album, 2 dolphins.

Always looking for feedback so please share your thoughts.

peace, love, and allons-y!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Apparently I'm a hipster?

Hilarity always ensues when I have conversations with my dear friend (and adopted brother) Robin (found here, here, and here).

Example is thus (paraphrased, as my phone failed and I got a new one, thereby losing my history):

(discussion about the necessity of coffee in every day life)
R: yes, I can't live without my Timmies
L: bleh, Timmies is nasty, I'd rather drink McDonald's coffee
(editor's note: we both used to work at McD's together)
R: I would rather gouge out my eyes and suffer caffeine deficiency than go to McDonald's
L: well, really I prefer Starbucks
R: you are a such a hipster

Note: I don't dress like a hipster (I don't think...) but apparently my love of high class coffee (Read: Starbucks and Bridgehead) makes me a hipster. I'll take it.

Better than drinking rat-piss... I mean Timmies.


Monday, August 27, 2012

Random updates from my mobile - the first

Updating my blog via mobile for the first time ever. I can't believe how busy life has been lately. Kind of embarassing.

Anyways, we're moving this weekend and we're mostly done packing I plan to do some this afternoon before i head to my weekly psych appointment.

One thing that is bugging ne is that my doctor has not called me since i got my diagnosis, and i wanted to discuss options with him. Now I dont know if i should call him again, since it has been about a month or so, or keep waiting.

Decisions, decisions.

I started a new job, which is great. I dont fully know what the heck I am doing most of the time, but there is always something to do. Which is good, except for now I have way less time to write. Then again, I wasnt always using my time to write anyways, so we will see.

In other news, I have started drawing again so you lovely readers may be subject to my atrocious art skills. I'm not sorry.

peace, love, and time travel.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Playing Catch-up: Life

Honestly, I've been neglectful at updating this blog for a few reasons.

1. I'm moving jobs in 2 weeks (from yesterday)

2. I'm moving house in a month (yay!)

3. I haven't really felt much like writing, even my novel and my articles have fallen by the wayside. (Sorry Matt & Chels)

Life is really crazy sometimes, and it just likes to throw things at you out of nowhere.

So this is just to advise you that I have not abandonned ship.

I plan to get back into the swing a bit more the next week or so.

Until then, read my other stuff, since it's fantastic.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Chasing Dreams Step 1 Update #4 + Step 2

Sorry for the delay, yesterday was a busy day! I have a job interview this morning, and I also will no longer be dropping my daughter off at daycare in the mornings. The girl we babysit for in the evenings is willing to do a trade, so hopefully that will help my lateness become less of an issue, particularly in the winter when there is no sunlightl.

So anyways, here is my update from the last week about my dream chasing:

Thursday July 5: Done!
Friday July 6: Partially done (did 14 pushups, skipped the crunches, everything else done)
Saturday July 7: Nope
Sunday July 8: Done!
Monday July 9: Done (14 pushups)
Tuesday July 10: Nope, did some cardio though
Wednesday July 11: Done! (14 pushups)

4.5/7 this time. I figure I'm doing pretty good at managing 4-5 days a week, which is wicked. My goal is to do a 20 minute Zumba workout in the mornings, which may start next week or the week after. I have definitely noticed changes in the way my body feels and looks, and WW has also noticed that I look a bit trimmer. Woo! Progress!

Time to bump it up some more:

50 jumping jacks with Zumba toning sticks in hand
15 pushups (still working on making it all the way down for the full 10)
15 crunches/sit-ups
15 wide-legged squats

Now that I have a fairly good routine going on with step 1, on to step 2 of chasing dreams.

I want to be published in print. To do so, I need to write, and I need to put myself out there. First off, I want to finish my novel. So step 2 part 1 is: Work on the novel (whether it's writing, brainstorming, editing, etc) every single day for at least 15 minutes.

Then when I update here, I have to say what I was doing (whether it was writing, editing, etc).

Now, when I do my update next week, there will be two parts to it. The update for step 1 (health) and the update for step 2 (writing/publishing).

Hope you'll follow along and share your steps toward chasing down your dreams!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Monthly Budget Breakdown: June 2012

Budgeting for dummies... or something. Since I started keeping track of money (again) in June, I figured maybe I could do an update of sorts too. Keep things interesting. Everyone has money (or doesn't...), and everyone needs to use it to buy stuff they want.

Learning how to spend it smart is one of the best things that my mom ever taught me. It comes to my attention now and then that the general public has no idea how to determine the cost by weight/mass of an item in a store. They also tend to have no clue how to tell if something is a good price or not (hint: if the "sale" is 20 cents off... it's just publicity).

So, I'm going to update my monthly budget here.

June's budget was the following:

Rent: 1110.41
Rogers/Hydro/Telus: 131.08 (had to pay 2 months worth of Telus since I neglected to pay for it last month... thankfully I just pay my dad since the account is in his name and the payments are automatic)
Car payments: 212.62
Various insurance: 160.51 (car and life)
Daycare: 221.34
TFSA Savings: 200 (ING is great for keeping money out of sight and safe)
Entertainment: 30.53 (netflix and zip memberships... we don't have cable)
Groceries: 420.20 (was aiming for less than 400$ so I've got to get that under control)
Dining out: 294.86 (family came into town, so we happily took them out on our dime :) other than that, we spent less than 150$ on restaurant food)
Gas: 77.85 (way less than I thought it would be! maybe our car is more efficient than I thought!)
Smokes: 44.43 (I always budget 60, just in case)
Psych: 850 (some will be reimbursed, and switched providers as well to one less expensive)
Dental: 60
Car (other): 53.65
Other: 55.51

Total expenses: 4062.99

Salaries: 4648.87
Babysitting: 95
Total: 4743.87

Difference: 680.88

Now, you may be wondering why I wouldn't put that difference in a savings account or use it to pay off the car loan. For now, since my job situation is less than secure, we are working on increasing the amount we have in our general use account. Until we know if I will have a job in October, any difference in income versus expenses is going to be kept aside and not invested. That way, we will have a buffer of cash (kind of like an emergency fund) in the off-chance that I won't be able to find a job for a month or two. That way all of our expenses will still be covered, and we will not go into debt.

The number one way I save money in a month is by controlling grocery spending and not eating out. I know that sounds like two separate ways, but they are intrinsically connected. I always make sure I have a lot of cheap food in the house from groceries to minimize how often we resort to going to restaurants for eating. By cheap, I mean quality but inexpensive. Very few of the items in my pantry/fridge/freezer are no name or store brand. We are almost always able to get the name brands because we wait for them to be cheaper than e store brands. No crappy toilet paper (tehe... pun intended) in our home, and no off-brand ketchup to ruin sandwiches.

Once the job situation is sorted out, the extra float money in waiting will be applied to the car loan as a lump sum. Hopefully we'll be able to drop a few grand onto the balance, shortening our financing term a year or two. We shall see.

All it takes is patience and good money management. And of course, a wife (WonderWife, even) to keep her manic wife from spending all their money on fabric and beads. *grin*

Goal for next month (July): bring total expenses down unter 3500. Bring it on.

Got budgeting plans or ideas? Helpful hints or concerns with money? Share them here, bring finances out of the dark and into the light. Help can only be found when people know that it is needed.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Weekly(ish) Know-It-All Wrap-Up June 15-July 6

Here's a wrap-up for the past few weeks.

I wrote one piece on Helium about How to help if someone has a panic attack in the middle of a crowd. I took this one kind of to heart, because I have had a panic attack in public, and it is very embarrassing. I also added one today on Total body workouts for beginners, since I am doing that for myself anyways!

On The Golden Vanguard, I started a new series called "Owning vs. Renting" and started with the pros of renting. Knowing all the sides to an important decision can make all the difference in how you end up, so I'm doing a separate piece for each pros of and cons of both renting and owning property.

Aside from that, I've done about 6 gigs on Fiverr, for a total of 24$. Seems like only a little money, but keep in mind that each gig takes about 5-10 minutes, so 24$ for about 60 minutes, is pretty darn good.

I also did some art in the past few weeks, and have since posted it on DeviantArt (because I'm awesome). Here is a beginning of one of the more intricate pieces I've started: Destruction. On a different note, this one was thrown together on a really bad day, emotionally. I called it: Inside Voices.

Other than that, I've been working at my novel slowly but surely. Plugging away at it. The characters are starting to develop deeper personalities and quirks, which I like. I never really know which way they're going to go until I start getting it out in writing. My main character seems really lame until you start reading, so maybe I'll find a way to make her more interesting in the beginning.

Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Movie Review: The Avengers

WW and I finally got to get out just the two of us for some "adult time" and so we went on a date! To the movies! And we saw:

The Avengers!

Yes! Absolute nerd-gasm going on just at the thought of seeing it, so despite the fact that it was released to theaters forever ago, I still got to see it on the big screen. Awesome.

Anyways, as for the actual movie, it was incredible.

1. Robert Downey Jr. IS Tony Stark. No one could ever play him better. The sass, the attitude, the natural looking facial expressions. Just such perfection for depicting the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist.

2. Mark Ruffalo redeemed himself in my eyes. I despised his character in The Kids Are Alright, and he just seemed like a boring, lame, stupid-funny actor with no depth. But oh my god did he ever pull the Hulk off like a boss. Seriously. I love Edward Norton, but Mark Ruffalo is definitely a better Hulk, both in human form and Hulk form.

3. Hawkeye was not that boring, he actually had some depth and important moments. Not to mention he made Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow) show off some of her humanity and backstory. Good stuff.

4. Loki. Oh my Marvel!

There were some sad moments as well, which I can't really share without screaming SPOILERS so I won't. But deep stuff, very well made.

The entire movie was chock full of quality one-liners and funny moments, while also showing the struggle and the depth of the plot. It was pulled off extremely well in my opinion, and I look forward to the next one. But they had better use the same actors/actresses. Seriously.

Have you seen the Avengers? What did you think? Share, share, share!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Chasing Dreams Step 1 Update #3

My god I am boring lately! Holy crap! I swear, hopefully soon I will start posting some more interesting diatribes... Maybe... Well I'll try.

So anyways, here is my update from the last week about my dream chasing:

Thursday June 28: Done!
Friday June 29: Partially done (skipped the crunches/situps)
Saturday June 30: Negative, but took a 20 minute walk
Sunday July 1: Nope, but took a 15 minute walk
Monday July 2: Holiday Monday, sheesh I didn't do anything!
Tuesday July 3: Done!
Wednesday July 4: Done!

3.5/7 isn't that like 50%? That's a PASS! WOO! Yeah... I'm reaching.

So, since I still have soreness going on with this routine, I'm going to continue it. I think that tracking it is ACTUALLY making me more accountable, because before I would say I was going to exercise more regularly... and didn't. But since I'm reporting it here (even though no one reads it) I feel more obligated.

This is the routine, in case you're too lazy to check the last update:

50 jumping jacks with Zumba toning sticks in hand
10 pushups (still working on making it all the way down for the full 10)
10 crunches/sit-ups
5 wide-legged squats

Work in progress!

I know I also haven't been writing like... anything lately, anywhere. My weekly wrap-ups haven't been happening... because I haven't really been writing. At least not outside of my novel, that I'm not posting because I would love to publish it when it's done. It will be awesome.

Still willing to share character write-ups though, if there's interest.

Anyone else chasing their dreams one step at a time? Chime in!

Friday, June 29, 2012

Musings on Novel Writing

So I've been trying to actually write a novel, on and off, for around ten years now. Not the same novel the whole time, after a few years I give up on the one idea and toss it. Then I start a new one a few months later.

This time, I've been working on a novel that I think I might actually finish, but we'll see.

So, in light of this point in my novel writing "career" I'm going to share a few tips on how to actually write stuff down. In no particular order at all.

1. Just freaking write. Yeah, you aren't inspired, the light isn't right, and the moon just hasn't hit the right alignment yet. So what? Write anyways. Doesn't have to be able your story, but get something on paper.

2. Read your stuff. Go back every now and then and read stuff that you have already written. If you want, do some edits to tidy it up a bit. Maybe you'll come up with new ideas or sub-ideas to expand on just from reading your own awesome words.

3. Get over yourself. The first draft is never perfect. It isn't supposed to be, that's why it's a draft.

4. Type whole words. Seriously, no1 wantz 2 reed wen u typ lyk dis. Write the whole word out and stop being so... ridiculous. It just makes you look dumb.

5. I'm awesome, and people love reading my stuff. I don't know why, but you know what? Who cares? I love writing, so if people wanna read it, GO FOR IT! Win-win for me! Want me to read your awesome stuff? Link it to me, and I'll check it out!

Basically, if you want to write, just do it. Don't worry about being published or having the final novel manuscript when you haven't even written a first draft. Make mistakes, then make more mistakes. Fix them, learn from them, improve.

Most of all: Just write.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Chasing Dreams: Step 1 Update #2

So here is my update from the last week about my dream chasing:

Thursday June 21: Done!
Friday June 22: Nope
Saturday June 23: Negative
Sunday June 24: Done!
Monday June 25: Done!
Tuesday June 26: Done!
Wednesday June 27: Done!

Oh yeah, I rock. 5/7 is a WAYYY better track record. Seriously. And I'm not too sore, despite doing 4 days in a row! Awesome!

Now to switch it up a bit, here's my new routine:

50 jumping jacks with Zumba toning sticks in hand
10 pushups (still working on making it all the way down for the full 10)
10 crunches/sit-ups
5 wide-legged squats

Just a few changes, little by little! I would also like to note that since the last time I weighed myself, I dropped 4 pounds. Not that I'm really aiming for a specific number, but it's kind of nice to see a difference. Especially when the clothes aren't really fitting better yet.

Work in progress!

Also, does anyone else thinks it's sad that my last post was a week ago, which was update #1? I need to write more. I've been slacking.

And by slacking, I mean working feverishly to finish the novel (A Quiet Awakening is my working title) I started over a year ago. Still on the first draft phase, but I'm at least back to adding to it. I should really start typing it up.

Is anyone interested in reading character summaries?

Anyone else chasing their dreams one step at a time? Chime in!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Chasing Dreams: Step 1 Update

After last week's post on Chasing Dreams, literally the next day, I came down with a cold that knocked me off my feet for 2 days. Go figure. I am still recovering from the cold, but have been doing my exercises for the past 2 days. So here is my update:

Wednesday June 13: Done!
Thursday June 14: Sick
Friday June 15: Sick
Saturday June 16: Not done (strawberry picking instead, and recovering)
Sunday June 17: Not done (recovering)
Monday June 18: Not done (recovering)
Tuesday June 19: Done! (recovering)
Wednesday June 20: Done! (recovering)

After doing it 2 days in a row this week, my muscles are sore. So I'm not going to increase any reps or sets until next week.

Until next week, my morning routine is still as follows:

50 jumping jacks
10 pushups
5 yoga ball sit-ups (or 10 bed crunches)

Anyone else chasing their dreams one step at a time? Chime in!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Flash Fiction: Sunlit World

(I wrote this for my mom, to help cheer her up since she's having a really bad day. Sharing it because that way she can come back and look at it any time.)

The hot tropical sun blazed overhead, not a cloud in the sky. Above the water shimmered a wall of fuzzy haze, occuring only when the heat was at just the right temperature. Trich lounged comfortably on her soft beach towel, eyes watching the haze through large sunglasses.

'At last the temperature is perfect,' she thought to herself, looking around to see if she knew anyone that was present on the beach. Reassured that she was entirely among strangers, she removed her beach skirt to reveal small bikini bottoms and her loose t-shirt to unveil a small bikini top.

Laying back down, she adjusted to a comfortable position and closed her eyes. Basking in the glorious heat, she felt the last remnants of chill melting out of her body beneath the blazing sun.

Times like these, where she needed sun so hot that it caused a haze in the sky to feel fully warm, she didn't feel quite human. Most of the others who were on the beach were in the water, the rest were in the shade beneath large beach umbrellas or leafy trees.

With her eyes closed, she blocked out the rest of the world. Behind her eyelids, she could see things that weren't there, like the world was falling into place as she watched. Seeing this always gave her a sense of peace.

She only once ever told anyone about the things she saw with her eyes closed, her mother. After telling her, Trich's mom tried to have her committed into an institution. There was a lot of backpedalling and claims of 'just a dream' to avoid that fate. Institutionalized, not a chance. They never got to lay out in the sun, as she was right now. As she needed to in order to maintain a healthy body temperature.

Trich felt that her entire front side was fully warmed, and rolled over onto her stomach. Settling in once more, she focused on watching the world through closed eyes. Everything made more sense that way.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think below.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Weekly Know-It-All Wrap-Up June 1-15

Again with the two week timeframe, but that's okay. There wasn't a whole lot that happened in the first week, so I decided not to bore the world with all of three links to my awesome writing. That's what playing catch-up is for!

Anyways, I did some writing for The Golden Vanguard, naturally, as my favourite e-newspaper to contribute to and read. Seriously, if you haven't checked out the other writers, you should. They're good peoples.

Some news that I shared the past two weeks. Canada's food inspection agency is proposing some changes to the regulations and policies when it comes to the inspection of our food. I think this will be a good thing, as long as it is followed properly. I also shared that Bill C-279 has passed the second reading in the House of Commons. This bill is to include individuals of non-binary gender and gender-variant people (including trans people) in hate crime and discrimination laws. Here's hoping it makes the last two steps of being passed!

On Helium, I added two short stories (fiction). One under the title "A Sorrowful Sunset" which my title is "Goodbye Sunset". The other is under the title "Perfect Daylight" and my title for it is "The Perfect Day". I'm trying to work on my fiction writing skills, and fantasy ideations.

I also did a piece on how to be a good friend to someone with bipolar disorder. Kind of worked in with the fact that I received my official diagnosis this week, and I really want to be able to share how to maximize your life despite having a mental illness.

Did a few posts on here too, for that matter! Check them out, and comment if you care to share your thoughts.

A moment of pride for myself here, I won Writer of the Month for May with The Golden Vanguard. The editors ran a contest for the writers, and whoever writes the most individual articles in a month wins Writer of the Month. As a prize, I get a full page feature of their spiffy website. Check it out here!

I also started doing some work on, to try and boost my non-typical income. I got a gig (two technically) translating a website from english to french. Not too shabby, plus it keeps me practicing and improving my french every day. Hopefully I get more!

For a directory of the gigs I'm offering on and on, click the links! Any help or work is appreciated, so if I'm offering something you're interested, let me know! (And if you don't want the sites to get any royalties, feel free to hire me straight from here, you know how to contact me!)

Any comments, questions, requests? Post them below, or drop me a line!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Chasing Dreams: Step 1

Chasing my dreams is a big deal, and I want to share my progress with anyone who comes across this site. It all starts with small steps, and from there you take increasing amounts of small steps. It's a big deal in the end, but the progress seems easy. Keep it simple, make it easy, make it impossible to give up on yourself.

Step one towards chasing my dreams is going to be increasing my health and fitness level. I eat relatively healthy most of the time, but I am very inactive. I barely exercise, and some days I really don't understand how I don't weigh more than I do.

So starting today, I am pledging this small step.

50 jumping jacks in the morning
10 push ups in the morning
5 yoga ball sit ups in the morning

That's it! A week from now, I'm going to reassess, see if it's getting any easier. This small routine should take all of 5 minutes to complete, but it can make a huge difference.

Not to mention that increasing my health through activity is a great way to ensure mental health, and help keep my mood swings a little more manageable. Routine is the key to consistency to any degree, and having routine helps keep me going even when all I want to do is curl up into a ball and pretend the world doesn't exist.

Through this small addition to my routine, I am opening the door for increased fitness and exercise throughout the day, and throughout my life.

Take a step today towards a bigger goal. Make a small change that you can't say no to.

I know I did.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Be Yourself and Chase Your Dreams

All good things come to those who wait. But I don't want to wait anymore. It's time to pursue the things that I want, and stop letting others dictate when I'm going to get them. Going after the important things in life is something that just has to be done, otherwise I am but a petal in an overwhelming current.

The things I want include:
- writing for a living, even if only part-time for now
- publishing a novel or collection of short stories
- moving into a house that I own (aka mortgage...)
- my family being happy and moving forwards

Emotional stability has never been my strong point, but that isn't my fault. Why should I let that dictate how successful I can be? Many people with emotional instabilities have gone on to lead happy, healthy, productive lives. Playing the victim only leaves you in the dust behind the rest of the world.

To get the things that I want, I need to accept the way that I am and stop trying to change into what other people think I should be, or what I think I should be. I am what I am, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Using my unstable moods to benefit my goals is entirely possible. It also gives me something to acheive beyond the normal goals in life. I may not ever be consistent or stable, but maybe there's a reason for that. Maybe I'm not meant to be stable, not meant to be like everyone else. I'm meant to be the way that I am, so why should I keep trying to fight that?

No more fighting, no more denying myself. If I want to be happy and accept myself, I need to start today. I am perfect the way that I am.

Just like each and every other person out there, I am made the way I am. Don't try to force yourself to fit into someone else's mould, it won't work. Each and every person is made different, and that's okay.

Be yourself, accept yourself, and be kind to yourself. Every day is a struggle, don't fight yourself when the world is already against you. Turn around and fight back.